My heart's messy and I'm trying to calm myself down. I keep getting mad and find myself nearly going over the edge. It's funny how u want to look for people but they are not there and the ones who look for you, is just not enough for you. Life's funny. Every now and then, whenever i see people feeling sad i feel very agitated. I don't know if this applies to some of them or is it just to everybody. I wish i know how to handle things better. I wish I can speak out whatever i feel to people. But I feel that, not everybody has to hear you complain. Do I have the rights to in the first place. This only makes me wants to flee from now even more. Sometimes I think, even if I'm not here but elsewhere, will things change. Will my mindset and emotions change for the better or would it remain the same. Am I just waiting for things to get better or am I really gonna put in effort then. You know, the people whom I'm running after sort of slowly drift away from my sight, even tho they know how I feel right now. But I wonder if things really will change for the better or will it be the same. If it remains the same, in the future if I behave like them, who is to be blame. If it really reaches then and I'm the one walking away, I wonder if I will still turn back.

Because maybe right now, this is the turning point for me.